“Confirmation biases happen on a feedback loop.
I began lying after years of being treated like a liar.
I gave into sex after years of being sexualized.
I began to steal after being punished over false accusations.
I did not see how those wrongfully judging me would feel affirmed in their wrongful profiles that would incite the very behaviours they sought to stop – as I gave up on trying to prove them wrong in the face of regular harassment over being an anxious, traumatized person.
I am trying all the time, nonetheless, to be a “good” person.
But when I am profiled,
Or falsely accused (or alluded to)
My screen goes blue,
I become automated,
Fight, flight, freeze, fumble, forget, fawn.
It is not an excuse. It is an explanation.
I have a belief that the charge can be switched on these feedback loops.
I’ll let you know if I ever craft the proof.”
-X

Leave a comment