Limitations Breed Ingenuity

“And yet, these statements would be incomplete if it weren’t said that my insecurities have largely contributed to my greatness.

If I did not question myself, analyze, criticize, think it over, try it over – my contributions in life would be scrap notes and rough drafts, at best.

One of the worst things about the altering substances I have used was, at the time, the best thing – the confidence. I did not know I was loaning this confidence from myself with compounding interest. It was great to feel I could dance, play, dress, speak, move and be without being crippled by anxiety – but I was also confident when I did not deserve to be, had not earned it. This confidence was a spell that expired at midnight to find my rags more tattered than before the magic happened. And yet, my insecurity following this confidence is tantamount to my confidence in sobriety now.

I have regrets. They are making me better.
I will have doubts. They will cause me to find faith.”

– X