Feedback Loops & Diminishing Returns

It happens the same way, over and over.

I cry out
I wince
I apologize
Please don’t punish me
I will be good
I wait to be told
I say something sweet
I crack a joke
I forget, lost in my work
begin to crack
I hide & seek
I cry
I cry out

If God had a mercy as soft as his hands are firm
I would pray to be let off this ride.
He would not have put me on it.
Would never have made such a thing.

If God had a mercy as soft as his hands are firm
I would not be left here with no hope but to pray to him.
Have no such thing to pray for.
Would have the fortitude or friends left to free myself

If God had a mercy as soft as his cock is hard
With the 🐓 s of all his sons to feed
With the bottoms of their bellies beast
flayed for the eternal feast
In a way a kin to what’s deprived from me
Only eachother as meat
We are forever starved.
God would just jerk off and set us free
With the commandments on our flesh, freshly carved.