What? You want a Tissue?

“Here’s an example of my crisis.
I can describe it many ways

Even just the tale of how hard I tried
To find the magic words that make
The true image come to any other mind
The context shift to fix backwork translations
Of the Force Taught & Forgotten
training of the eyes and sensors

All we perceive are symbols
Every shape, wave, word and waft
Each associated with a meaning
Per moment, per person
An infinite amount.

So, when I say precisely what I mean
And you hear something else
As happens more and more the more
I’m driven out and down

Consider this image
Primary purpose pando paradox
Some to mourn
Others to enjoy themselves
Transformation proving
what is thought and felt
Is very real, it’s all we know
It’s all we make of everything else
Which is how we construct ourselves

The meaning in the matrices
Between each association
Maps a constellation
A celestial body unbounds
From a tiny pin of light
If all our stories allowed to illuminate
We would not so fear the night

I feel more like this tissue box
Than a person now
Used and discarded
For whatever
I could absorb and hide
Consumed by service
So it seems
I should want for nothing else

The violence taking place
In front of every face
Is truly a travesty, tragedy
Trajectory looks much worse

No one would miss the riot
If seeing beyond our own picket fence
Notions shown and preconceived
Purpose driving illusory logic
That strips us from the means
To escape, overcome or even know
That we are in this mess

Why I’m really stranded, begging, again
How it’s truly not my fault
Why this is [actually really fucking important, guys]
Why I should be saved
I should be understood
I should be felt.
Not just because it’s human, kindness
But that the truth matters
It can be known
And in shattering delusions
We can be free to know
I am but a metaphor
For each and all of us
Victims shamed into pride
For choking down the truth
To forge a new world reality

What was done to our symbols
Segregated, assimilated, caste
has been done to us

This is why we suffer so
Tear self and other assunder
While otherwise oppressed
When our salvation is oppositional
It’s in what’s been and being suppressed

Just another bunch of words
That don’t do justice
Twisted in the winds

Drowning in themselves
Lungs full from crying out

Someone.
Please.
Help.

Help being just another barbed phrase that most have come to think means something else.”

-X